Sunday, January 23, 2011

Feed A Soul - Starve a Demon (Part 2)

Part 1 can be read here

Negative Internal Self-Talk

"If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time. It's very important to be aware of them every time they come up." ~ Deepak Chopra



We all have several conversations and thoughts with ourselves throughout our days. "Will he like me?" "I'm too fat." "I don't have time for this. I'm going to be late!" "I should've known better!" We tend to fill our heads with tons of negative thoughts and images then wonder why such things come into fruition. As Mike Dooley says, "thoughts become things".

Negative self talk feeds into the fears we have. It prevents us from stepping outside of our comfort zones. Most negative self talk stems from us allowing other's thoughts become our own internal messages. Were you criticized by a parent, a teacher or bullied by other kids? Did someone belittle you in an attempt to raise their own self-esteem leaving you to doubt yourself? Many times our well meaning parents point out our faults in an attempt to get us to address them but without their help to get through such things, we ended up just blaming ourselves. We begin to internally focus on all the wrong things. We often can't control the things that happen to us in our lives but we can change how we react to them and how we allow them to determine how we talk to ourselves.

To start to change some of these messages to ourselves, begin practicing in small steps. How many times have you responded "Fine" when asked "how are you?". I tell my daughter that fine means Feeling, Internally, Negative Everyday. Instead, when someone asks how you are, respond with "Fantastic!" or "Life is good!" with a smile. It will begin to change how you view things and perhaps your smile will give you the added bonus of brightening their day as well.

You can manifest change in your life by merely changing your perspective. If all you see is the negative in the world, that's all the universe is going to show you. Instead begin to think about what you want in life then begin to verbalize those things. When you offer positive thoughts and comments, the world will hand you those same gifts back.

Find ways to put a spin on your negative self talk to turn them into more positive affirmations. Instead of telling yourself "Ugh it is another Monday" tell yourself "It's the beginning of a great week." Eliminate the words "could've, would've and should've" from your self talk. These just begin to add resentment over time and cause you to regret. Eliminate the words "I'll try" because that implies the potential for failure and your goal is to succeed.

For the next three weeks, when you are having negative conversations with yourself, take conscious steps to change it. You need to understand that you are worthy of love, attention and a great life. You will begin to see the beauty in the world and be amazed at how much better you begin to feel.

What ways have you found to replace negative self talk with positive ones?

Part 3 of this series can be found HERE


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