Thursday, December 9, 2010

Gratifyingly Aware

"Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are." – Bernice Johnson Reagon

I recently lost someone near and dear to my heart. When he died it felt like someone had reached into me and ripped out part of my soul. I let that grief and sorrow flow through every vein and pore of my being. I let those around me see and hear me at one of the lowest points of my life. Rather than fight back all of the emotions, I let them consume me. Then -- I tried to remember how to breathe. It took considerable effort to just pause and try to focus on my breathing.

Grief forces you to truly live in the moment. It causes you to wonder how the world can continue on as if nothing happened when you feel like your entire world has been shattered. My grief has caused me to realize just how often we merely float through our lives without really being in attendance. We get caught up in the daily grind rather than truly experiencing it. Think I'm crazy? Ever been driving home then realize that you have no memory of driving the past few hundred feet?

My goal is to start living for the moment. To be Gratifyingly Aware of the fact that each action, choice and decision is an experience to fully live through. It’s about being awake, fully present, and living our lives intentionally.


Holly in Japan said...

I'm sorry for your loss. Its such a hard time of year - when we're all expected to be joyful and happy all the time - to feel sadness and heartbreak instead. I pray you can find peace and hope.

Dana H. said...

Thank you, Holly.

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