Sunday, December 26, 2010

Devastating December 2010

"You never know how strong you are...until being strong is the only choice you have."

This month has been one of the roughest times for me and my kids. In the past four weeks, we have lost five members of our family and friends. Just when we felt we would begin to grab a breath, something else would happen and snatch the rug right out from under us.

While everyone has been rushing around trying to buy up their Christmas, it took us until mere days before Christmas to even put up a tree. It is truly hard to celebrate when you have experienced so much death.

The most difficult ones for us are those we didn't see coming. The man I dated for almost 10 yr suddenly died from a blood clot hitting his lungs. One of my sons' closest friends, at the age of 22, slit his own throat and took his life. It breaks my heart to watch my kids have to go through so many back to back devastating losses in such a short period of time.

The other night my 15-yr old daughter comes into my room to find me in tears and gives me a much needed hug. She says "You have a big heart mom, that's why it all hurts you so much." A little while later, she pokes her head into my room and says, "Do you remember when we were little and you told us that the rain was angel's tears? See mama! The angels have been crying for days now so you aren't alone." She hugged me and said, "That story always helped me" and she left. I love that girl so much! It literally rained non-stop for 5 days.

So on Christmas Eve, while my girls were at a family event with their father, and my sons were gone to wrap themselves around their friends in remembrance of Dean, I poured some wine into the engraved glass I had gotten from Rich years ago, turned on some Norah Jones, wrapped gifts then finally opened that Christmas bag of mementos from his desk.

This Christmas it has been our wish that everyone take time to hug those you love & let them know how much they mean to you as we say goodbye to some of ours.

~Love, Dana


Anonymous said...


Dana Hess said...

Thank you

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